fifty shades of growing up
by meggsterIam007
Summary: Christian and Ana. They fall in love. They grow apart. Will they end up together?
1. Chapter 1

_I do not own any of the characters. All rights belong to E.L. James. This is a completely different Ana and Christian story than what she wrote. No BDSM but both do have some of the same back stories (Christian is adopted and Anas mom has been married multiple times). Mia is not related to Christian or Elliott though and most everyone is the same age in my story except Elliot is a year older than Christian and Elena is two years older than Christian._

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** Ch. 1 **

How did I get here? A car is the obvious answer but I refuse to answer the question my head is asking me.

Why am I here? Honestly I have no idea. I was invited yes, but I never intended on coming.

Im standing in the church and I know I shouldn't be. I should be driving down the highway as fast as I can running from this. From him. Yet I can't bring myself to leave. The music starts and I take the seat closest to me. I watch her walk down the aisle to him and take his hand. He looks gorgeous in his gray suit, it matches his eyes and makes them stand out. As the preacher talks his eyes scan the room and finally meet mine. I offer him a small half smile that he doesn't return. I know he doesn't want to be standing there but it's the best thing for everyone. At least that's what I told him last night. I tear my gaze away as my mind takes me back to the day that lead us to this moment.

_It_ was the first day of our junior year in high school. The day had gone by uneventful until last period.

"Ana! You will never guess who moved back to Seattle?" my best friend Mia screamed as she took a seat next to me in study hall.

I was currently drawing a picture. To anyone else it would have been a random picture but to me it meant a lot more. A girl who is screaming the words I love you but the guy can't hear her because so many people are standing between them.

"I bet you're going to tell me." I replied in a less than enthusiastic voice.

"Elliot and Christian Grey."

I paused only a brief second from my drawing. Christian. He is back. Don't react. Don't let her see any emotion and it won't hurt again. I kept telling myself that at least. "Well...at least there'll be some good parties now right?"

"Parties? I tell you that Christian has moved back and you respond with some bullshit about parties. I mean you and Christian used to be best friends then at his brother's welcome freshman party something happened. What happened Ana? He moved. You shut everyone out after that. Neither of you were the same. You left to go talk and then..."

I grip my pencil so hard it snaps. "Nothing." I spit the word out and take a deep breath. "Nothing happened Mia. We talked and that was IT. However, I'm sure you and Leila and the rest of the girls at school are ecstatic that they...he moved back but not me. I don't..." I stopped mid sentence because I can't lie. I can't say I don't care because the truth is I always will. I'll always care about Christian but I can't let Mia or anyone else know that. I pack up my stuff quickly and stand up. "I have to go. See ya later Mia."

I can feel her eyes watching me as I sprint from the classroom. I have no clue where I'm going but I know I have to get away. I let the door slam behind me as I walk as fast as I can towards the parking lot. I quickly spot my yellow Beatle and nearly run to it. Im only about 10 steps away when I hear the three words that make my world start spinning on a different axis than it was before.

"I missed you."

Christian. I turn around slowly but don't look at him. I can't. I don't want to break apart again. "I'm sure you did Christian." I answer him with all the sarcasm I can muster up.

"Ana. Please. I did miss you."

"Just like you missed all your girls huh? Me, Leila, Elena, Heather, Malorie...I'm sure you missed us all."

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "They're not my girls Ana. I have ever only had ONE girl and that's you. None of them mattered. They..."

"They did matter." I cut him off. I can't let him continue this. I need to stop this. "You cared about them all. Loved them in your own special way even though you won't admit it. And I was never your girl, I was only ever your friend. You made that perfectly clear freshman year when you walked away."

"I made a mistake then."

I hold up my hand. "Stop. Christian I can't...we can't be like we were before. Just let go for both of us. Goodbye Christian." I give him a peck on the cheek then walk away. I don't hear all of his response but I hear enough.

I hear him promise me he wants to be better than before.

I hear him promise that he will never let go.

I silently wish that he can keep those two promises because I want him to. I get in my car and look once at the spot where he is still standing and see the one thing I never expected.

Love.

Pain.

I see it all and it's at this moment I realize he meant everything. Not just what he said today but what he said freshman year as well. _"It's you Ana. I love you. I want all our dreams to come true. And I want you standing next to me. I will always love you." I allow his words to play over and over in my head then I remember me telling him_ that I loved him too and that we could have everything he just said. It was then that Elena walked in. She didn't say anything, she just looked at him. Then I remember him saying he couldn't be with me, he couldn't love me...because he didn't want to hurt me. That he wasn't good enough for me. Then he walked away.

I don't know how long we just look at each other. I don't know how long Christian will be back. I don't know what is going to happen next. I don't know if I'm ready to admit what I feel for him. Yet for all the things I don't know I do know one thing. I can't do this today or this week, hell maybe not this month. I know right now I can't let him know I love him. So I put the car in reverse and drive away leaving him standing there watching me just like I stood there 2 years ago and watched him leave.

I decided not to go home. Ray would be there by now and he always had a way of getting me to spill my guts and I wasn't ready to tell him about Christian being back. I was half way to the marina when my car died, damn battery. I grab my bag and start to walk when I hear a car pull up next to me.

"Battery die again? I told you that car was going to give you nothing but problems. Piece of shit."

"It's a good car. Besides what are you doing here?"

"Promise remember. I know you heard me just like I knew you'd go to the marina. I know you Anastasia. Can we please talk?"

"Talk? Remember the last time we talked you walked away when I said we could have it all."

"I won't make the same mistake twice. Anastasia please."

I stop walking now and look into his eyes. I must be a martyr because I find myself getting into his car. He drives to the marina and we walk to Rays boat and get on it. This was our spot. We always came here to talk, to just hang out, even when we had bad dreams. Now here we are again.

"Ana. I'm sorry. I want to tell you the real reason why I walked away that night. Please listen to me first then you can make a decision on us."

I sat down to listen to him. He pulls a picture out of his wallet and starts his story. I never expected to hear what I did. I knew now that he made the right choice that night. He made the right choice for the little boy in the picture.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

A baby.

Christian's baby.

I'm still in shock of all he's told me. Not only about him and Elena but his parents as well. My head was spinning and I could swear the headache that was coming on was due to a overload of information.  
Elena had told him she was pregnant with his child. On that same day his parents had announced they were getting divorced due to the fact Carrick had an affair. He and Elliott moved to Portland with Carrick, although he called it running away for him. He had wanted to contact me but was scared to after how things had ended between us. Elena never stopped sending him pictures via email of Nate. He did come back for a day when he was born but no one knew not even Elena, he had just watched Nate in the nursery.

"I'm a dick Ana. I ran from my son. I hated my mom and dad for not staying together. Most dick move of all I hurt you."

I shook my head. "You are not a dick Christian. You made bad choices but now you have to make it right. Starting with your son." I stand up and grab his arm. "Let's go buddy. You have a toddler to see."  
He seemed surprised that I was literally dragging him from the boat but whether or not he thought he was ready to be a dad it didn't change the fact that he is a dad. We got to his car and he told me to get in. I was about to suggest he call Elena when started driving like he knew exactly where to go.

"I know where she works. She's actually done good and opened her own salon." He looks over at me and I guess the surprise is clear on my face. "Yeah I was surprised too. Who knows where she got the money for that. Maybe she has a sugar daddy." He elbows my arm and we both laugh.

This feels normal. I know we still need to talk about everything but right now it didn't seem like it mattered. It didn't take long for Christian to find the salon. It was nice I'd give Elena that. The sign said that it was lunch and they'd reopen in 30 minutes. Apparently that didn't work for Christian, since he banged on the door until we saw her walk out of the back.

She opened the door and let us in. Something seemed wrong though, like she was scared of something. Suddenly I saw her as a lion backed into a corner with nowhere to go but not willing to give up on the fight.

"Christian. You're back in town, and with Ana. What a surprise. So...what have you two been up to?"

"Cut the pleasantries Elena. We need to talk." Well just get to it Christian, I thought silently.

"Talk? About what may I ask?"

"Hmm how about a certain little boy. Gray eyes, about two almost..."

"Ok. Maybe we can have lunch sometime."

"Or we can talk now. What is going on? I want to see him."

She looks back and forth between me and Christian before dropping her head and nodding. "We need to talk. Privately and obviously now since you insist." She leads him to the room she came from and shuts the door.  
I look around and take note of everything. It seems fancy, really fancy. Elena has done good for herself. I'm walking around the salon looking at all the chairs and different products each hair and nail person uses when I hear Christian yell.

"YOU FUCKING WHAT?!"

I look towards the door. I can't hear the response but I hear shuffling.

"No! I won't calm down. I don't give a shit if your employees come back early. You had no right. You didn't even tell me! What kind of person does that Elena?!"

I hear the bell chime and smile politely at the woman who walked in. She opens her mouth to say something when the door flies open behind me.

"Christian please. It's not as bad as you're making it out to be."

He stops and clinches his fists. "You gave up our son for adoption, lie about paternity so you don't need my permission, never tell me about it for 2 years while you still send me fucking pictures!"

She looks down at the floor. "Yeah so it sounds bad but it's an open adoption. I can still see him. I'll take you after I close tonight."

He laughs. "No. You will tell me where he is now and then go get a shovel."

"Why a shovel Christian?"

He walks so he's right in front of her and looks her right in the eyes. "Because I'm going to get my son back and bury you. You won't get away with this. You had no right to give him up."  
We wait as she writes everything down. He turns and walks away without saying anything. I follow him and wait til we're in the car to say anything.

"I..."

"My son."

He chokes the words out and I hear he's crying. I reach for him but he pulls away from me. I glance back at the salon as he speeds away, he's broken but can he be put back together? I don't notice that he drove me home until he parks the car and unlocks the doors.

"I'll see you tomorrow? We can talk?"

He shrugs his shoulders.

"I know you want to do this alone, see your son...explain everything. But Christian you aren't alone. Please remember that."

He shrugs his shoulders again.

I watch him go and hope that unlike the last time he'll be back.

1 week passes. No sign of Christian. He's not at school and he hasn't called. It's Saturday today and I just started my shift at the Walmart when I hear my name over the loud speaker being called to the front of the store. I get up there and I'll admit I am surprised to see Elliott.

"Ana banana."

"Eli." I call him by the same nickname I always have.

"I've missed you shorty. I'm sorry I can't stay and talk gotta get to work. Christian sent me by. He told me to tell you he wants to know if you want to have dinner tonight. Is so go to this address. Nothing fancy casual. See you later Ana!" He says it all so fast as he hands me a piece of paper and then runs off.

Well at least now I know Christian hasn't been ignoring me. But what has he been doing? I finish my shift and go by my house to change quickly. I drive to the address and park my car. It's a shop of some sort with what looks like an apartment over it. I ring the bell and lights turn on. Christian opens the door and smiles at me. Is this the same guy from a week ago?

"Ana! Hey! Come in."

"Hey Christian. What is all this?" I motion around the store.

"A bookstore." He laughs. "My mom knew a woman who needed help so she hired me while I'm not at school and she gave me the apartment upstairs rent free."

"That's great."

"Come on up I want you to meet someone."

He grabs my hand and walks me upstairs. He opens the door and I walk inside. The living room is spacious and fully furnished. Grace is sitting on the couch and gets up and hugs me when I walk in. We say hello and she goes into the kitchen which you can see from the living room.

"Christian I've already met your mom. What's going on?"

He smiles and picks up a baby monitor. "It's a trial basis right now. The court agreed with me that Elena had no legal right to have my son adopted without my permission. If I can prove I can provide a safe living environment and can take care of him it'll become permanent."

Little cries come over the monitor and Christian walks into what looks like the only bedroom in the apartment. A few minutes later he comes out holding Nate. He looks just like him.

"Ana, this is my son. Nate."

I smile at him and go to shake his little hand. Nate smiles and says "Hewwo Ana."

Christian sets him down in his highchair while I walk to the table. "Nate can't talk much that I can understand at least but he's getting there."

I nod and sit down next to Christian. As we start to eat dinner I can't help but think this is just the beginning of Christian and I getting back to where we were.


End file.
